I just feel so tired.

Today, I found out that my dad bought a dog.

Hindi kung anong breed lang na aso. It's a Belgian Malinois.

He spent Php14,000 for it. Gets ko naman na matagal na nyang gusto yun. And I guess that's what he wants to buy sa naging severance pay nya after working for so long as an OFW. Pero kasi wala sa tamang oras e. Since he came home, he's been very strict when it comes to expenses. Kaya nga binigay na namin ni Mama yung debit card nya sa kanya para sya na lang ang nag gogrocery at nalalaman din nya kung magkano ang gastusin. He also bought an electronic 3-wheeled car na pampasada daw nya, another thing to pay for 3 years. Ang buhay ngayon kung mahirap ka na dati, mas mahirap ang sa ngayon kasi panahon ng pandemiya.

When he was planning to buy that, My mom asked him kung sino daw magaalaga, sabi nya sya.

Then I wondered, He never really had time to take care of my mom every since he started working abroad. When I was young all I remember is whenever he spends his vacation here, kalahati nun or most of his time was spent sa family nya (nanay and mga kapatid). Nung magkaapo na sila ni Mama, he then spends more time with the kids during his vacation and often sa kabila pa din. Now that he has finally retired from work, I thought he'll be able to spend time with mama, pero di din pala. He's always with the kids, he would have his alone time then sa panganay nya. Time left for Mama? hmmm... tuwing kakain, matutulog. Minsan, kung may lalakarin or mag grocery. He was able to look after mama nung nagkasakit sya recently but that's it.

I feel so tired from all these.

I want this to end.